Saturday, February 28, 2009

Urinal-otta Trouble, Mister!

One of the first rules of male restroom etiquette is, do not talk to each other in the bathroom. This holds true even if an elderly man suddenly clutches his chest and collapses at the blow dryer.

There are, however, a few "mavericks" that were never taught this rule. I chalk this up to the decaying state of fatherhood in our country.

Here are a few excerpts of "urinal chat" I have personally experienced that I swear I am not making up:

"Time to empty this pot and a half of coffee I had this morning!"

"Sometimes, a fellow just has to take a whiz, don't he?"

(In a relieved manner) "Whoof, heh heh."

Now tell me folks, what is a guy supposed to do?

**Update**
New special church edition update:

"If the pastor had gone on much longer, I'd have been sitting in a wet seat."

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Saturday, February 07, 2009

Ebony and Irony

President Obama recently made several statements against corporate salaries he considered to be too high (salaries that are above his pay grade, perhaps?), and issued an executive order to cap them, declaring that "for top executives to award themselves these kinds of compensation packages in the midst of this economic crisis is not only in bad taste – it's a bad strategy – and I will not tolerate it as President."

He will not tolerate it.

Pardon me, Mr. President, but since when did executive salaries become the estate of the White House, to the point where what you will and will not tolerate becomes any of the government's business?

I'll answer my own question, because this is where the irony comes in. In formal logic, a statement may be incorrect but still logically sound. Here, there is another standard of "incorrect" (IE, morally and economically wrong) but still logically consistent with the state of affairs. Since these businesses took bailout funds, the government is now entitled to meddle in their business conduct. How's that for fine print? This is certainly one of the more foreboding aspects of the Bush legacy.

And here's a little gravy...Wells Fargo canceled a luxury trip for some of its executives after there was a short-lived public outcry that the company was spending some of the $25 billion ($25,000,000,000) on playtime. Yet just days later, it was revealed that members of Congress were engaging in trips to luxury resorts. Partaking in the trip were both Democrats and Republicans, but they explained. It was imperative to strengthen their working relationships with lobbyists and each other, they said. One bold little Congressman even had the nerve to insist that they were dwelling on the economy "from morning till night."

That clears it right up.

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