Monday, June 29, 2009

A Little Fun With Solicitors

Late one night, I'm on Yahoo instant messenger when I get a message from a stranger. I figure it's just some other "webcam" nut doing a hit-and-run, but this one is different, and keeps saying hi. I think for a moment that maybe it's someone I know, and actually ask. Come to find out, it's just someone selling something. The chance for anonymous interaction with a salesperson is just too delicious to pass up, and the following hilarity ensued:

“samantha”: Hi
“samantha”: How are you?
“samantha”: Hello Friend this is Samantha
Dave: Samantha who.
“samantha”: Well friend i am a webmaster
“samantha”: We offer various seo services such as directory submission article submission for your site at FREE of cost
Dave: Why are you writing to me.
“samantha”: We also design logos baners templates icons headers at FREE of cost
“samantha”: Well you own a blog right?
Dave: I am not in a position to say.
“samantha”: I visited your blog site and it was pretty cool
“samantha”: Why Dave?
Dave: Because...They might find out.
“samantha”: What
“samantha”: It will help increase your site traffic
Dave: Please...if They knew I was talking to you...
“samantha”: Hey come on dont get scared
“samantha”: I am just offering these seo services at FREE of cost
Dave: I know, and that's great, but I really want to keep my ears. I saw what happened to the last one.
“samantha”: What happened?
Dave: I can't...I mustn't.
Dave: There's just too much jello at stake.
“samantha”: Ok
Dave: You're a doll, thanks for caring. Return to your life, and I shall return to "mine"...
“samantha”: Ok fine

[Real names redacted]

Note to "Samantha": If you really read this blog and are just some freelancer trying to make a start in the world, then I hope you'll forgive a bit of fun. But I'm not stupid; you don't spend your time cruising Yahoo IM just to offer "free" services, and we both know that my blog is not going to lift you into career web design, so really, you were the one taking up my time.

Next time, my overlord commanders suggest you just have some jello.



At July 2, 2009 at 11:13:00 PM PDT, Blogger fmatthews said...

Nice post!!
Thanks for sharing.

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