Saturday, September 20, 2008

Dave Goes HGTV

Before:



Steps required:

- Removing all furniture (some of which is already removed from the above photo)
- Cutting/removing carpet
- Cutting/removing carpet padding
- Prying up/removing carpet tack strips
- Removing remaining shreds of padding, pulling up staples
- Removing trim around edge of room
- Laying down laminate flooring planks
- Replacing trim (using nail gun)
- Replacing furniture


After:



And all in one weekend.

Why yes. Now that you mention it, I DO rock.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Humor for the Weekend

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk and the macro code instructions cause unnecessary risk, then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM. Quickly turn the sucker off and be sure to tell your Mom!

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