Monday, June 23, 2008

9 Reasons Why Lord of the Rings Clobbers Narnia

From Why Narnia Will Never Match Up to LOTR

I couldn't resist these tongue-in-cheek yet thoughtful and accurate reasons why Lord of the Rings (at least in a back-to-back movie comparison) clubs Narnia. (Edited for content)

1. Lord of the Rings = Old Testament = vicious deities, exciting plagues and turmoil, rains of fire, etc. Narnia = New Testament = hippie lovefest, turning the other cheek, etc. (What works in real life doesn't always make for super-cool fantasy action.)

2. There's no way someone as cool as Guillermo del Toro would agree to direct The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. I mean, unless he could get Lucy Pevensie eaten by a troll or pushed down a well or something horrible like that.

3. Prince Caspian/Peter Pevensie slash fan fiction is kinda dull compared to Legolas/Gimli slash.

4. Hearty hobbit grub of mushroom pies and mugs of ale way better than enchanted Turkish delight -- what is that stuff, anyway?

5. Even Pippin could take Mr. Tumnus in a bare-knuckle brawl.

6. Huge dearth in Narnia of evil fiery volcanoes.

8. Giant masked demigod in black robes versus pretty white ice queen? What do you think?

9. Narnia is just a made-up place invented by an imaginative author. Middle-Earth is real. Everyone knows that.

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