Saturday, August 04, 2007

Toilets - The Downfall of the West

Study: Toilets Need Radical Redesign
The Western World's dependence on flush toilets could be its environmental downfall.

Toilets that use less water, such as the "squat toilet" in which one squats over a hole in the ground, are prevalent in parts of Asia, Europe and Africa, but a new historical study suggests that after decades of flushing, it will take radical innovations for the mainstream West to adopt any new system.

Of all the things I thought were dooming the West (materialism, hedonism, capitalism, imperialism and, of course, global warming...ism), I never would have guessed it would be our toilets!

The article suggests that the West is "addicted" to flushing toilets, and hearkens back to those glory days of the outhouse. So much more natural! Especially the odor.
"Perhaps sometime in the future," said Quitzau, "people in Western cities could accept the idea of using human urine and feces as resources instead of as wastes."

If you'll excuse the expression, it smells like a trap. A trap to guilt those crazy sanitary Yanks into having excrement running in our streets again, or at least the stench. Good way to cure obesity! No one will want to eat after that.

Before long, the hoards of flies will set in, and charities will film commercials of little children with flies on their eyeballs. Then the environmentalists, at first overjoyed that we were living with the land, will accuse us of polluting the atmosphere, since decaying feces emit methane gas, and can actually become flammable.

The idea of a "vacuum toilet" is also proposed. Our astronauts use this very technology on space missions, and from all accounts, they suck.

And by the way, many years ago, they passed a law that put limits on the water usage of toilets. The 5-gallon flushers (what we used to refer to as "effective") were banned, and 3.5 or even 1-gallon flushers were issued in. For the record, our 3.5-gallon commode practically clogs up no matter what you put in it.

Personally, I think they're just jealous.

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